Welcome to the First and maybe the only episode of Tough Love with Jennifer Beaston. Yes, I'm calling this Tough Love, guys, because that's what this is. If you guys watch the channel, you know that ultimately, I want what is best for you guys. I want you in homes, I want you happy, I want you financially empowered. I do not want you on the path to Poverty. So before we start, if you like this channel, subscribe. If you like the video, hit like. If you hate tough love and you wish you would stop, hit dislike. You know, let's weigh in.

I generally try to be a little sensitive, but on this one, I'm just, I'm gonna talk to you guys as if you were my best friend, my mother, my sister, my brother, my child, okay?

Path to Poverty, what is the path to Poverty? The path to Poverty is when you try to buy a house that is going to put you into poverty. You're not going to be able to afford it, okay? And so, a great indicator, the number one indicator as a lender that you're going to be house poor is we have a payment that's doubling, right? So let's say your rent right now is a thousand dollars and your new payment is going to be two thousand dollars. We have a high debt to income, okay? So that is your income versus your debt, okay? So your gross income, your pre-tax income, versus your housing payment and your credit cards, car payment, student loans, so what is a high debt to income? Really anything over 50 is high, anything over 55 starts to make me nervous, and it starts to make me nervous because you are not going to have a lot of money at the end of the month after you pay taxes, medical insurance, Social Security Disability, you know, your electricity. You are not going to have a lot left over if you have a 55 to 60 percent debt to income. The only time that level of debt to income can make sense is if there's income we're not counting. So, if you're married and your spouse is not on the loan and they make a good living, you know, okay, it may be less scary. But if this is everybody's income and your payment is doubling and your debt to income is above 55 percent, right, it is not a good place to be.

Now, here's the third piece that makes it where I go, 'Whoa, we've got to have a talk': zero in savings, okay? Here's why. If you have nothing in savings and your rent is a thousand dollars and your new payment is going to be two thousand dollars, how is that going to work, okay? Now, what I hear a lot of is, I hear, 'Well, I'll make it work.' Good, start making it work right now. Start saving right now, start saving 500 every paycheck right now, you know? And what I see a lot of is that people don't want to do that until they own the house. It's very much, 'Well, I don't want to do that unless I get what I want.' And here's the thing about life: if you want to get what you want and keep what you get, you need to be prepared, okay? You need to be prepared.

So now if your debt to income was, let's say, 30 and your payment was doubling and you didn't have any money in savings, you know, there is a stronger chance that you're going to be able to make that payment, right? Because there's a lot of money that's going somewhere that we're not aware of, whereas if you sit down and you do a budget, it's going to be a lot easier to find that money than if you're at that 55 to 60 percent debt to income. If you're at 55 to 60 percent debt to income, it is hard finding that money.

And as a lender, these conversations can be really tough, you know, and I have some people that hate me because of these conversations. And they're never out of ill will or negativity, they're always trying to get you guys to the finish line, you know? So for instance, I had a client recently where their debt income was 63 percent. The computer was like, 'Hell no,' the underwriter said, 'We can't do this,' you know, because we'll push it if you guys are saying, 'I really want to make sure, we'll push it,' you know? Well, I work for you, it's that simple. And I will push stuff, but, you know, if the computer's saying no and the underwriter's saying no, at some point we have to have the conversation about how to get to a yes, okay?

Now, in this circumstance, we had zero in savings, the payment was going up three thousand dollars a month, and we had a very high debt to income, okay? So what are the solutions? Look at a lower priced property, right? Okay, you'll have a lower debt to income, you'll have less payment shock, that can be a good solution that might get the computer and the underwriter to a yes. In this situation, the buyers were like, 'No, we need this amount.' Okay, cool. If you need this amount, I need you to start saving some money, okay? Because I need to pay down some of your debt to get your debt to income lower so I can get you to this price. But we can afford it. No, you can't, okay? It's that simple. Lenders can qualify you guys into really bad positions. So when we're saying we can't qualify you, it means that that position is beyond bad. It's upside down, negative, terrible, no way good, you know, going to a happy ending.

So sometimes I think the issue is, and look, we all are like that, it's like, you know, we want everything now, right? Like, 'I don't want to wait,' you know? 'I don't want to put in the work, I just want it now,' right? But with big stuff like a house, sometimes you need to put in the work, okay? And it's the instant gratification mindset that often gets people into these predicaments where we can't get them what they want. Because you see it with the credit history, they've already got in everything they want instantly without a plan, and they're trying to jump into housing the same way. Now, does that mean they're doomed? Are they bad people? No, guys, no, they're not bad people, they're not stupid, they're not dumb, they are just needing a little help and a little guidance, okay?

And look, we have a lot of clients where we have these really tough conversations, and they're really tough because I never want you guys to feel judged, okay? But when we're having conversations like this, you feel judged, right? You feel like I'm judging you. I'm not judging you. I'm looking at the situation saying, 'This is the problem.' And I don't have any emotion tied to it. Here's the problem, it's a math problem, okay? We see this, this is what's occurring, this is what I need to do to get you to what you want, right? But everyone has so much emotion around money, so much shame, so much guilt, so much defensiveness.

So what you need to do if you're in a situation like this right now, realistically, you probably put your thumbs down and already stopped this video, hopefully you didn't, you know, because we do have some clients where we have these horrible conversations and then they do the steps and they come back and we get them a house and it's awesome. I'm thinking of like five right now that have just been so rewarding, you know, it's just been like an educational experience.

So here's the thing, guys, when you're having these tough conversations with a lender, don't take it as judgment, okay? It's gonna feel like it, it's not though, it's really not. What it is is us saying, 'Hey look, this is what we've got to do,' and sometimes what we have to do hurts and feels judgmental, right? Because when you start thinking about it, you're like, you know, because if I say to you, 'Your rent's 800, the payment's three thousand, you have zero dollars in your bank account, how is this gonna work?' You feel like that's mean. No, I'm literally asking you, 'How is this going to work?' Okay, what, how, like, and that's the thing, to get over that hump of you're in the position where you're deemed too high risk to get a house at the price point you want, you've got to get over these humps.

Budget, a budget is what I would always recommend, you know, mint.com. I've been saying it for decades in my videos, mint.com is great, it's so easy, it's free, you know, do a budget, see what you can really live without. Because here's the other concern, if your rent right now is eight hundred dollars, you have zero in savings, the new payment is three thousand dollars, for a lot of loans there's stuff that we don't know about, like if you're conventional or FHA, I don't look at Child Care, Child Care is expensive, you may not be able to afford the three thousand dollar house when you really sit down and do the math.

We were not raised as Americans to sit down and do math, we weren't, we weren't, it drives me insane, our high schools teach us the most nonsense in the world but they don't teach us how to budget, right? So if you're like, 'Oh, I'm stupid, I should have done, what do you mean, you had no clue, guys, you know, like, like, none of us were taught any of this. I went to a good college as well, they didn't teach budgeting, right? So this is something as an adult where you might be 60, 70, learning to budget, it's okay, we're gonna do it.

So do a budget, start making the fake payment to yourself into your savings, let's get a plan for debt if that's the issue. And if you do the budget and you go, 'Wow, you know, 3000 is really gonna suck,' then we should be looking at a lower price point, it's that simple. You know, a lot of times people fall in love with the I want this of a house and they forget about the I'm gonna have to pay for this every month and the amount that I pay every month is going to affect my entire world. It's going to affect if my kids get to go to soccer club, it's going to affect if I get to eat out, it's going to affect if I get to eat, okay? Because seriously, there are some lenders out there that will put you guys into positions where you are choosing between Electro City and food. I wish I was being dramatic, I am not, it is a dark, dark place out there, and you need to watch out for this.

So, first episode of Tough Love, I care about you guys, I want you to be financially successful, I want you to be in a house, and I want you to turn the key and I want you to feel happy when you come home. I don't want you to turn the key and go, 'How am I going to pay for this?' or 'I need to get a second job' or 'We need to cut this' every time you walk through the door. Life is too short.

As always, if you guys have questions or comments, reach out. I am licensed in 48 states to do mortgages. My team does planning with you guys. So if you're like, 'Hey, I know I'm not ready yet, I'm thinking of buying in a year or two,' get on the calendar, talk to Alyssa and Sandy. Alyssa can come off as kind of monotone, it's just her voice. Alyssa is a former client who is one of the best Savers I know, best Savers, okay? And she is smart when it comes to game planning, like she has been there and done that, you know? I've done a couple of houses for her, she is someone that I look to for advice when it comes to saving, she is brilliant. Sandy has been in the mortgage industry for a very long time, you know, she's a former production manager, which means she managed the entire back end of the loan teams, she also is a loan officer, you know. I have people just to answer your guys' questions, we do not charge for this, and the reason I do this and I have this set up is because I do care, and I do want you guys to get across the finish line, and I want you to get there in one piece, okay, one piece financially.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8ptdlHBw0k

Chapter 1: Understanding the "Path to Poverty"

Section 1.1: The Warning Signs

  1. Payment Shock: Let's start by understanding what the "Path to Poverty" means. It's when you buy a house that will put you in financial jeopardy. A key warning sign is when your new mortgage payment significantly exceeds your current rent.
  2. Debt-to-Income Ratio: Another crucial factor is your debt-to-income ratio. If it's above 50%, especially approaching 55% or higher, alarm bells should be ringing. It means you may not have much disposable income left after essential expenses.
  3. Zero in Savings: Having no savings is a red flag. If your rent is $800, and your new payment is, say, $3,000, how will you cover unexpected expenses? A financial safety net is essential.

Section 1.2: The Solutions

  1. Lower-Priced Properties: If your dream home seems financially out of reach, consider looking at more affordable properties. This can reduce your debt-to-income ratio and make the mortgage more manageable.
  2. Start Saving Now: Don't wait until you own the house to start saving. Even if you're confident you can handle the new payment, build a financial cushion as a safety net.
  3. Budgeting: Create a budget using tools like mint.com. Understand your spending habits and identify areas where you can cut back. Budgeting is a vital skill that many of us were never taught in school.

Chapter 2: Emotions and Money

Section 2.1: Judgment vs. Practicality

  1. Handling Tough Conversations: When lenders like me have candid discussions with you about your financial situation, please don't take it as judgment. We're analyzing the numbers objectively to find the best solution.
  2. Emotions and Money: Money discussions often evoke strong emotions—shame, guilt, defensiveness. Recognize that these emotions can cloud your judgment. Stay focused on the practical aspects of your financial situation.

Chapter 3: The Importance of Budgeting

Section 3.1: Creating a Budget

  1. Why Budgeting Matters: Budgeting is a critical tool for financial success. It helps you understand where your money goes and how to allocate it wisely.
  2. Mint.com: I recommend using mint.com for budgeting. It's user-friendly, free, and an excellent starting point for tracking your expenses.
  3. Fake Payments to Savings: If your new payment will be significantly higher, start making "fake" payments to your savings account now. This practice will prepare you for the financial adjustments.
  4. Dealing with Hidden Expenses: Certain expenses, like childcare, may not be considered in your mortgage qualification. Budgeting helps you uncover these hidden costs.

Chapter 4: Choosing the Right Path

Section 4.1: Prioritizing Your Needs

  1. Instant Gratification vs. Long-Term Planning: It's natural to want everything now, but homeownership requires planning. Prioritize your long-term financial well-being over short-term desires.
  2. Finding a Balance: Don't sacrifice your financial stability for a dream home. Balance your aspirations with your ability to comfortably afford your mortgage.

Conclusion:

Congratulations, you've reached the end of this guide! I hope you find it useful as you embark on your journey to homeownership. Remember, I'm here to help you make informed decisions and achieve your goal of owning a home without sacrificing your financial well-being.

Feel free to reach out to my team for advice, planning, and support. We're committed to your success and ensuring that your path leads to a bright and secure homeownership future.